"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms— to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
-Viktor E. Frankl,
Man's Search for Meaning
will I ever feel better?
One of the question I get often is Will I ever feel better? OR will the pain ever end? I get it. The Pain of Grief can be so unbearable that you want to desperately know when it end. When will it be over. HERE is the Catch...Grief isn't something that you 'get over' someone passing. The truth is you learn to live with your grief in a different way.
Does that mean you won't feel better? Absolutely Not, but here's what I know for sure. You can't sit around and expect to get better. You need to address your grief, that means get to know it, process and heal it. The Grief Journey is a marathon and one that can be run and the good news is that you can get to the finish line.
What is the Finish Line? The finish line is when you see and receive The Signs and you know without a doubt that you loved one is with you. It is when you don't judge yourself for grieving. the most important thing which is the love you have for your loved one.
I've come to believe that we truly can handle anything thrown our way and with the right support structures, we can overcome anything, even the dark stormy nights. It is my mission to give the support and community that I have come to use to process and heal my own grief, so that you ca be empowered to live your own fulfilling life to Grieve & Live.
“Even the darkest night will end &
the sun will rise
-Victor Hugo
what to know about grief...
01.
Each Grief Journey is Unique.
In my own two separate grief experiences and in years of coaching, what I know for use is that each grief journeys in as individual as you are. Your grief is a direct experience of the relationship you have with your loved one.
02.
You are not your grief
What does that mean? Far too often when getting overwhelmed with grief it is easy to get confused with the grief vs. the feelings of the grief. I will hear a client talk about their grief as if they have become it, "I will never get over this" and yet the key to remember is that you are not your grief. You are an individual experiencing the feelings of grief.
"Grief is a matter of the Heart & Soul."
-Louise Hay & David Kessler
03.
The 5 stages are grief are BS.
Knowing this alone is going to save you heart aches. When I started to dig into the literature about grief, I thought I was going nuts, because I could cry, laugh, and feel guilty, within seconds, but based on the 'stages of grief' I was suppose to be either in “Shock” ,“Denial”, “Angry” or ,“Bargaining”, and yet I had trouble explaining what 'stage' I was in, because I seriously would feel all of that within a nanosecond apart. When I realize it I wasn't experiencing the stages but rather experiencing my emotions, well I realized the stages were BS. Experiencing the emotions of grief is like watching ping-pongs, back and forth, back and forth, all you have you just gotta keep your eye on the ball.
04.
Decide you want to get better
It sounds crazy but it's true. While you cannot choose your life circumstances, you can choose How to respond to those life experiences. Deciding that you want to heal doesn't mean that you forget your loved one or get rid of your grief, rather it means that start to make peace with your grief and develop a better relationship. Decide you want to get better.
05.
be Gentle with yourself.
We're not born knowing how to handle grief. No one is born knowing how to handle grief (that would actually be kind of weird when you think about it) and yet everyone have their own unique experience. Your pain is real and that is OK. As you become familiar and intimate with you grief, you may experience some ups and downs, and that is OK. Be gentle with Yourself.
Life doesn't end with Grief
Download my FREE Grief Meditation Series to help Ease your Loss.